Godzilla

Yes, Godzilla is alive.  Well, Netflix brought him back to life for my 6 year old son, Jayden.  As I'm typing this, he's watching Godzilla's Revenge.  He said he plans to watch the Godzilla cartoons tomorrow.  I grew up loving all the monster movies that came on our local (I think it was local) TV station.  Channel 48 had Creature Double Feature every Saturday afternoon.  It was great on rainy days when it's too icky outside to play kickball.

I personally loved the little twins from Mothra's island, the creature from the black lagoon that I never figured out what he was supposed to be, all Alfred Hitchcock's birds, and a zillion others.  These were fabulous movies for me.  My mind and heart are too sensitive for Texas Chainsaw Massacre.  I cry, I have nightmares and genuinely freak myself out.  My Jayden is the exact same way.

And for that reason, I need to stop typing and get back to Godzilla.  I don't want him breathing down my neck......fire breathing dragon might burn the back of my hair off right before we go on vacation....can't have that.  LOL

See Ya L8r Allig8or

Physical Fitness? Hmmmm. Mental Fitness 1st

I'm definitely one of those people that struggles with my wait issues.  I can't wait to eat.  I can't wait to drink.  I can't wait to find the newest excuse not to workout.  I need to start my workout program on a Sunday, January 1 of the new year.  Tuesday's or Thursday's just won't do.  I have tons and loads of excuses.

I don't have the right type of clothing.  I need new sneakers.  My socks don't match.  I don't have a headband and sweat could drip right into my eye.  My period is due, my period is here, my period just left. I'll start in the spring to get ready for summer.  I'll start in the autumn so I'll be good for spring.  I can't start around the holidays.....oh wait, I'll miss out on all that good food.

The mental struggle is me finding ways to not do what should be most important - healthy living.  I'm really hoping that some upcoming projects I'm getting involved in will help me use these things I really need/want to do as a way to keep some of my focus on myself.  I want to workout.  I want to eat right.  I want to meditate.  I want to be on a routine.

Step #1 - I set my alarm clock just now for 5am tomorrow morning.  It's not a Sunday.  It's not January.  It's not the beginning of anything.  Oh wait......maybe there's a phat me waiting for the fat me to get the hell out of the way.  LOL.

G'Night My Loves.....MUAH!

Before & After Pictures - They Might Be Fake? What? Really?

I saw this story about Before and After Pictures in the fitness industry being bogus. Shocking, right? NOT!

Obviously I'm not bashing the fitness industry as a whole, there are lots of companies and people that really do care. I even have friends that sell these products. But I never see that much in the way of "hey, just eat these normal every day things from your local farmers market" or "do these exercises where you need no equipment or DVDs" ......it's always buy this shake, this vitamin, this supplement, this DVD, this set of weights, this book.

See? All this craziness in the fitness world.....this is why I'm so iffy on purchasing anything. I haven't personally met one person that has stuck with a weight loss program that I have seen for sale and never gained the weight back. I know it's an ongoing battle and struggle. I get that. I'm simply refusing to spend money on it anymore. I'm only losing weight in my wallet, not my big butt. I wish everyone the best and I'm not telling anyone else what to do......we all need support with this battle.

 But I need to do what I need for myself. This is about me and my battle, not the fitness industry and their wanting my money. Do they really care if I lose weight or if I just buy the newest thing?  No, what I need is a support system or a buddy.  A team of people that will do this on a daily basis with me and be serious about it every day.  A buddy that will let me push them as they are pushing me too.  Anyone want to apply for that job?  LOL.

I will continue to do the things I have found that work for me......I'm not buying anything else. No other products. I need to stick with all the things I have already bought and paid for that are still in wrappers or buried under dust. The biggest thing is just taking the time. Maybe the best thing I could purchase is an hour of my own time each day. ???? Hmmmmmm, why did that just sound like my own Ah Ha moment?

The Secret Crush(es)

As a very married woman, it's so fun to have a crush on someone that's not my husband. And I don't mean the normal Channing Tatum variety. LOL. There are so many hot guys I get to see and interact with that are all a little bit special to me.

The Fed Ex guy that delivers to my job. He's not the most attractive guy, but every single time he comes in, he let's me know he thinks I'm beautiful. He compliments my clothing, my hair, my eyes. He never misses an opportunity to give me some sort of compliment.

The meter reader that comes in my house to read the meter smells like a dream. It doesn't matter what time he comes, the man smells like he just stepped out of the shower and is heading out for a night on the town.

The twitter account that sends all the romantic and sweet tweets. I don't know if it's a guy or not but in my head those are all direct messages to me. LOL.

It's so much fun to have these little crushes and still totally be hot for my husband. It's great to have a solid relationship where fun is part of daily life. There are a few more crushes, but a girl gets to keep some things to herself.

My Own Image

If you’ve bothered to see my profile, you may have seen what I look like. It’s trying to be realistic with everything, especially things about myself. I tend to shop for compliments from others for various reasons. I think where I believe my reflection is ok, it should be better than ok. Maybe that’s why I don’t try harder to lose the weight, keep my hair done, etc. If all that was done and I was still only ok.....where do I move from here?

It’s really hard to be 42. I’m having a tough time accepting that I will never get my old body back. I’ve had children, I’ve eaten way too many cupcakes and don’t come from a family with the best physical appearances hanging from our branches. I’ve got things going on inside me that don’t make sense. Hot flashes.....doctor says I’m not even close to menopause. Eczema on my feet......not much can be done. Hair thinning out on my head but starting anew on my chin......just part of aging.

Maybe the best we can do is to find out who we want to be and strive for it. But to know in our heart of hearts, it’s still only going to take us so far. We should have enjoyed our youth more. LOL, I think I enjoyed mine a little too much since I don’t remember a whole heck of a lot. Here’s my advice to myself.......

I really do need to find a way to improve who I am and what I am; while accepting that I am what I am until then.