The Outfit

So I haven't really talked about this with anyone, you're the first to know. I bought an outfit I can't fit into. No, not the dilusional dream where I refuse to acknowledge my real size. I purposely bought something to wear that I can't fit into. I bought a jump suit that is two sizes too small. I've been really doing much better on not eating so much junk food and not eating late at night (at least not every night). But I want to actually see the results. I am scared to death to take one of those before pictures. (do those women wear the same bra and panties in the before AND the after pics....or do they buy them in two different sizes?) So I bought this jumper in a size 12. I am currently a 16 who constently lies and says I'm a 14. Hail Mary.... Anyway, I was going to see if I can wear it and take a before shot, but I could not squeeze my fat ass into it.....and since it didn't come with that drop ass like old fashioned pjs did, I chose not to rip the material. Is it bad that I need to drop weight to squeeze myself in my motivational outfit for a before picture? LOL, oh boy. My hubby says he thinks I'm beautiful. I used to say I wanted to lose the weight for him, but that was a lie. I wanted to lose the weight in reference to other women that might be interested in him or he might look at for more than a second. I now want to lose the weight for me, myself and I. Me, Myself and I each way about 65 lbs, totalling 195lb Anna. I just want Anna to weigh in at 140lb and Anna will be happy. I'm getting into the idea more and more of how to do this, but I realize that making mistakes is bound to happen and you just gotta move forward. ZUMBA TOMORROW AT 5AM. Bed tonight at 9pm.