The Greatest Love of All - Not Likely

This is probably going to sound completely inappropriate. Maybe it is, but it's my honest inappropriate opinion. I've always believed in the loyalty of parents toward their children. I believe that as a parent, I owe everything iota of my life toward helping my children understand and learn what they need and how to get it. That does NOT stop on their 18th birthday. It goes on until I die. I am always aware that whatever I am learning now about mortgages, debt consolidation, pedicures, ear wax build up, tax returns, etc is all information I should pass down to my babies.

I love them enough that this is a joy to do.

Most of the time.

But not lately.

I'm going to do the Kelly Ripa thing and call this child - She who shall not be named. Not because I might embarrass her, but because she is a huge embarrassment to me right now as a mom. Mom's have that thing where we always love you, but might not really like you sometimes. Well, right now I'm struggly to keep the love for her in my heart because she's doing so many hurtful things. And not just to me, but to the rest of the family, to her friends, and definitely to herself. I'm hoping that she gets herself straight without getting pregnant, jailed, or physically hurt.

It's all just details at this point, but I've finally had to take the advice of my husband and step back to let her fall. And I hate knowing that when she falls, she's gonna be paying for it for years. She has already done so much damage to our relationship with her, we seriously are ok with never seeing her as she leads the lifestyle she's got right now. The people she hangs with are as hideous as she. She's become so many nasty names that I'll choose to not publicize here. The hardest part for me is seeing her take this fall and knowing there will come a day that she will have to call or knock to ask for help....and my answer is going to be NO. It's the answer I have to give to keep teaching her those lessons.

It hurt me to watch her take her first steps and see her fall down and cry. But it's how you learn to walk for yourself. Walk, fall, cry, walk, fall, cry. She's walking the walk she's decided to take, so now she's gonna have to fall and cry on her own. I'll listen, I'll advise, but she's gonna have to pick herself up all over again.

She doesn't want to do right by me now, don't expect me to do right by you then.

Buy American?

Today a "friend" got upset at the news of AMC Theaters being bought by a Chinese movie theater company. He wanted to know why Chinese and Japanese have to own everything we have......

I have a few different questions.....

Why do Americans get upset at outside companies owning companies here? Why don't Americans get upset at the American company that put their company up for sale? Why don't American support American companies more often? Why don't people understand that business is not necessarily keeping loyalty to anyone......it's just business. Business are in business to make money. If your business is not making money, you either sell it or close it.

And I never see these same Americans complaining when they see McDonald's, Burger King, Walmart, or whomever with stores all over China, Japan, or wherever. Get over it. This world is global. Support your neighborhoods. Keep things as clean as you can. Be honest. Shop smart. Blah Blah Blah. We all buy Made in China stuff because of the prices....why should other people be any different?

Oh, one more thing.....if a person sells their company to someone else and you don't like it, you do have to three options. (1) rally support around the country to help them make a profit and keep their business. (2) buy the company yourself. (3) (ready for it....LOL?) MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!!!!

50 Shades of Grey? Color Me Red....LOL

I'm going to get this out of the way first. OH MY GOD WOW WHOA HOLY MOSES WHAT THE HELL

OK, on to my opinion of the book 50 Shades of Grey. Oh, wait....I just did that. LOL..

I absolutely do not want to give up anything for people who haven't read it, (FYI - I wish both of you would get to it) but this book is extremely hard to put down. So hard in fact that my boss probably thinks I have the stomach flu right about now as I've been sneaking my ipad to the bathroom at every opportunity. It starts off great, gets better and just stays there. It's actually hard for me to accept Ana's relationship with Christian on a level of "I'm an independent and intelligent woman".

But I do like that they love each other so much and are trying hard not to change each other that they both become a lil of what they originally believe they don't want to be......love can do all sorts of things.....

I've finished book 1 and book 2. The erotic parts of the books definitely cannot be removed as they are not just basic part of the book, but a building block of the relationship between them.

Ladies - read this book for yourselves. Enjoy it for your own pleasure. Then make your man read it for himself. And make sure he enjoys it for YOUR pleasure too. LOL

My President Obama - I'm So Proud of Him

In 2008, I experienced my first time of being excited during an election. Yes, I was completely enthralled with Mr. Obama. I donated money and talked to people till I was blue in the face about his qualities and honesty. On election day, I got up early in the morning and felt this was a moment that would always be a memory in my heart. It was and it still is. I couldn't wait to see him go from Mr. to President Obama.

In 2012, the shine and newness has worn off, but I feel no less about his qualities and honesty. He's just a good person. He's raising his family and doing his job to the best of his abilities. No one should ask for more right? Apparently, I'm wrong.

Yesterday, President Obama said in an interview with Robin Roberts that he supports a gay person's right to marry. He said he was well aware that some of his supporters and people in his circle of friends and family may not agree. He said that this was his own belief after taking time over years to think it through. (These are not exact quotes). I applaud that this is something he thought about. He didn't do this for votes. He didn't just say it. He didn't take it lightly. He thought it through. When was the last politician you heard say it took them years to think through this major belief in anything.

He was always going to get my vote. I would vote for him for those qualities and his honesty. Now I'm voting for him because of his understanding of things that while they may not reflect who he is, still represent people. Isn't the first amendment about rights?

On a side note, I'm so proud of him for taking himself out of his own religious beliefs and truly separating church and government. Do you know how he did this? People keep touting the bible says that gay people are not to be allowed. But many people keep forgetting the bible also says not to judge others. President Obama should be used as an example to the world to show that passing judgement is NOT what religion is about.....it's about love and faith. Leave the judgements to your God.

Taking a Compliment

Why is this so hard for me? Most of the time, I feel like I wish people would give me compliments but wonder what I'm doing that doesn't garner any. Then when I do get a compliment, I do everything I can to brush it away. LOL. Now I'm wondering if I do things to not get compliments due to my embarrassment of when I get them. Am I crazy? Probably. I love getting compliments regarding my kids, my hubby, etc. But personal ones make me wonder if the person giving the compliment really means it or did I do something to make them feel like they had to give me this bogus compliment. Do you see how dizzy my thought processes are? If you happen to work in the field of psychiatry, don't read these articles, you might have to prescribe something for yourself at the end of it. You've been warned. I have always looked at writers like an exceptionally intelligent crop of people. My own education was quite lacking and I didn't make it any better with all the class cutting I did. The most difficult compliment for me to take is about my writing. Whenever someone sees my writing, they nearly always like it and give me tons of positive feed back. That's why I started this blog. But I hardly keep up with it. I'm confusing myself. I'll write more later. LOL. maybe.

Parent Teacher Team Work

My son's school principal asked me to write something for their school's newletter to explain how we were able to turn a situation around. My son was failing in kindergarten and was at risk to stay back. I wrote up what we did and sent it in.

She just called me to tell me how touched and near tears she was with what I wrote. She said I'm her favorite author of the day (LOL). She feels a few parents might now be happy with this piece, but wanted me to know that she felt I understood the school dilemma in educating our children daily.

Here's the piece. (I took out staff names and the schools name for obvious reasons)

My son, Jayden, is in Miss P’s kindergarten class. He’s been doing fine all year and has come a long way since the first day of school. In March, Miss Pugh sent a note home letting us know that there was a possibility of Jayden repeating kindergarten next year, but she felt there was plenty of time to catch up. It was mainly a list of high frequency words that he needed to know. He only knew 19 of 30. She was even kind enough to send me the list.

My husband and I quickly came up with a schedule, repeated this to Miss Pugh to make sure our plan was going to help. Once we got the thumbs up from her, we sat our son down and explained it to him using the most upbeat, optimistic attitude, wording and voices we could muster. We wanted him to know why he would be working hard. We were worried. We both work, we have two other kids (one of them is Autistic), how would we fit this in and get him caught up.

Then we realized that we just needed to create a reasonable schedule and stick to it daily. We starting using our smart phones and e-readers (dad has a Blackberry and a Kindle Fire, mom has an iPhone and an iPad). There is a website called Pixel of Ink; they have two genres of books based on age, one for adults and one for kids. The one for kids gives tons of free e-books away that are easily downloaded to many devices using the application for Kindles and the actual Kindles. You can use a regular computer for these, too. Many of the books are free. All the books give the recommended ages for the books. These were great. First time readers, high frequency words, beginning sounds, etc.

We took it a step further. We typed the list that Miss Pugh sent to us in to Word document and saved it as a PDF file. We emailed them to ourselves, opened them on our phones and e-readers and saved them. Now we had his list with us everywhere we went. We went to Five Below, we bought workbooks there for kindergarten level. They are $2 with about 50 worksheets in each. I did a Google search and found tons of free worksheets online to print out. We added 4 pages of these to his homework every night.

Here’s our daily routine:
Wake up at 7am – Breakfast, hygiene, dressed
7:30 am – we read 2 books, he reads one to me and I read one to him. We reviewed his word list. (10 minutes)
5:00 pm - When I get home from work, we sit in the kitchen with no TV or anything to distract us. (NO CELLPHONE!!!). (30 minutes.) While I cook dinner, he does his homework. But we did it together and I made it as fun for him as I could.
6:30 pm - After dinner, we take him outside to play for 1 hour. That’s it.
7:30 pm - After play time, and while he’s in the bathtub, we review the word list. We play with flashcards. We read a story. (10 minutes)
8:00 pm - After bath time, he reads a book to mom with dad’s help. The he reads a book to dad with mom’s help. Then I read him a book that is sweet and relaxing to lull him to sleep. (10 minutes)

This totals about 1 hour of the day. Jayden is definitely worth an hour of my time.

In less than a month, Jayden was completely caught up. Miss P said she could see the results immediately once we began working steadily with him. We had a meeting with Mrs. Y and other staff members to go over the possibility of his repeating the grade. We had the meeting, but now it was only a review of how far he had come. Miss P had tested him that morning. Of the 30 words he needed to know, he now knew 36 words!!!!!!! He did a lot of hard work and it paid off. He’s so proud of himself, he sees what hard work can do.

If a parent thinks it’s not their problem, or they don’t have the time to do this – they are not being honest with themselves or they’re scared. The only things that changed were having Jayden in the kitchen with me while I was cooking and reading to him while he was in the tub. Doubling up with him and getting stuff done for me at the same time. It’s working great. He is also beginning to understand that there is a time to play and a time to work. It’s helping him be a better Jayden.

Miss P and the staff at KE School have a hard job in trying to educate our children. Yes, it’s their job to do that and they get paid to do it too. But these are our babies, not theirs. We owe it to our children to give up a little tv time, texting with a friend or anything else to ensure that they become educated and confident kids that know they have parents that love them enough to do anything and everything for them. Work with the teachers, work with your kids, in the end it only helps our kids be the best they can be. Isn’t that the goal?

The Outfit

So I haven't really talked about this with anyone, you're the first to know. I bought an outfit I can't fit into. No, not the dilusional dream where I refuse to acknowledge my real size. I purposely bought something to wear that I can't fit into. I bought a jump suit that is two sizes too small. I've been really doing much better on not eating so much junk food and not eating late at night (at least not every night). But I want to actually see the results. I am scared to death to take one of those before pictures. (do those women wear the same bra and panties in the before AND the after pics....or do they buy them in two different sizes?) So I bought this jumper in a size 12. I am currently a 16 who constently lies and says I'm a 14. Hail Mary.... Anyway, I was going to see if I can wear it and take a before shot, but I could not squeeze my fat ass into it.....and since it didn't come with that drop ass like old fashioned pjs did, I chose not to rip the material. Is it bad that I need to drop weight to squeeze myself in my motivational outfit for a before picture? LOL, oh boy. My hubby says he thinks I'm beautiful. I used to say I wanted to lose the weight for him, but that was a lie. I wanted to lose the weight in reference to other women that might be interested in him or he might look at for more than a second. I now want to lose the weight for me, myself and I. Me, Myself and I each way about 65 lbs, totalling 195lb Anna. I just want Anna to weigh in at 140lb and Anna will be happy. I'm getting into the idea more and more of how to do this, but I realize that making mistakes is bound to happen and you just gotta move forward. ZUMBA TOMORROW AT 5AM. Bed tonight at 9pm.

Am I Too Emotional?

When I was a kid, I would cry over anything remotely sad. After 40 years, I still haven't outgrown it. I cry over everything....lol....I cry when I'm sad, angry, happy, or in pain (pain giggles are too weird to explain).

Just today, I read a story on www.msn.com about a little 5 month old girl that died of a disease she was born with, they didn't expect her to make it to her second birthday. Her parents created a blog detailing her life, her possible dreams and hopes for the future as though she were writing this herself. It was funny and uplifting. She died and I cried like she was mine.

Then I realized something today. She was mine. That's why I get emotional over things. I always feel for the person and those around them and feel bad for the emotional waves they will be going through in whatever situation they are in. I worry about them and hurt for them. That makes me empathetic, not pathetic like some others like to label me for having a range of emotions for others that they just can't fathom.

My MIL and a friend make a point to watch me while we watch movies to point out when they see me cry. I think I'm going to turn the tide on them. Next time I'm watching a movie and feel myself about to cry, I'm gonna turn to them and ask why they are so cold hearted and unmoved by other people's troubles and emotions. I'm really do believe if more people would take the time to feel for someone other than themselves - maybe we would all be a little bit happier. We as a people wouldn't be to quick to look or sound cool in hurting others. We as a people wouldn't want to seek revenge. We as a people would finally learn to turn the other cheek and let things alone that are really NOT our business. If only.....